For Mr. Lile.

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Since you demanded a post, I’ve got one right here ready for you to read.

I’ve been waiting for something interesting to happen to me and I’ve finally got the perfect gem to write about.

I have discovered that one of my friends of the longest time, we share a deeper connection than I could have imagined. As of recent, since we’ve graduated high school, we’ve grown closer than ever before. We may not talk every day, sometimes we’ll go weeks without talking, but when we do talk, it’s like we never stopped.

The thing I love most about this friendship, is how freaky it has become. And when I say freaky, I mean… I cannot explain how this keeps happening. The last several times, it seems like whenever I think of her, that very same day she texts me out of the blue. Just to see how I’m doing and if I’m alright.

I just got a new phone and her number did not transfer to it when I activated it, so I hadn’t been able to text her whenever I thought of her (she no longer has her Facebook so texting is the only way of communication we have if we aren’t in person). I knew I didn’t have to worry about that though because I knew it wouldn’t take long before she texted me again to see how I was doing. It’s been about a week or two since I got the new phone, and this morning, is when I discovered we are more than just best friends. We are soul sisters.

This morning, I had a dream about her. I cannot give you any details of the dream other than I she was in it. Everything else I am drawing a blank on. I remember a lot of white, and maybe a table? And her parents were part of the dream. Well, when I woke up, I got the gut feeling that she would text me today. As my day went on I gradually forgot about the dream… until it actually happened. She texted me. Yes, she actually texted me. It is not the first time that I’ve thought of her and had the feeling that she’d try and text me that day and then she has. We’ve discussed how freaky it is and how connected we have to be for this to keep happening. And it has happened almost every time she’s texted me for almost a year now.

We are so alike it isn’t funny. I couldn’t ask for a better friend. She is my best friend. She understands me on a level that no one else could. She’s helped me so much through so many things and she is so patient with my feelings and opening up about things. I can’t explain the premonitious (I don’t care if that’s not a word, I just made it one) feelings that we have that tell us when the other is wanting to talk… but I find it to be one of the coolest things and I am thrilled to share it with such an amazing person.

Today

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Days like today, I feel like I’m hard to talk to. I don’t put much towards the conversations and I say “lol” way too much to try and mask the way I’m feeling. They may not notice it, but I feel like the way I text changes completely when I’m under this cloud.

I spend too much time on Facebook because I don’t know how else to distract my mind. Days like today I just need someone here with me to talk to, to laugh with. To stay busy. Texting helps a little, but I can always pause between words in a text and get trapped in my thoughts. That’s not as easy when you have someone to physically talk to.
My appetite is gone. My head hurts. I’m tired. The day is moving too fast but also so slow. I want to go do something, but everyone seems too be busy or unable to. I feel trapped. 

Morning Thought

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4 o’clock in the morning. (Actually 4:05 because I try to stay in bed as long as I possibly can and still have time to get ready.) I force myself out of bed to begin my morning routine before work. Since it’s so early, or late for those who can still stay awake until this time, it’s still dark out. I’m quick to turn on the lights in any of the rooms I enter because I’m beyond scared to be alone in the dark. 

I go to brush my teeth and hear noises coming from the living room. My first thought was, oh my God… I’m going to have to try and defend myself with just a toothbrush. I can barely throw a punch.. How am I going to stop an attacker with just a toothbrush? 

Of course, there wasn’t anyone there. Anyone that has been over knows I have a rabbit that stays in the living room/dining room area. She/he/it (not quite sure the gender, but starting to lean towards girl) can be quite noisy, especially at night. I’ve gotten used to it now, but I used to lay in bed trying to figure out what that noise was. 

Too tired to figure out how to end this… So have a wonderful day.