For Mr. Lile.


Since you demanded a post, I’ve got one right here ready for you to read.

I’ve been waiting for something interesting to happen to me and I’ve finally got the perfect gem to write about.

I have discovered that one of my friends of the longest time, we share a deeper connection than I could have imagined. As of recent, since we’ve graduated high school, we’ve grown closer than ever before. We may not talk every day, sometimes we’ll go weeks without talking, but when we do talk, it’s like we never stopped.

The thing I love most about this friendship, is how freaky it has become. And when I say freaky, I mean… I cannot explain how this keeps happening. The last several times, it seems like whenever I think of her, that very same day she texts me out of the blue. Just to see how I’m doing and if I’m alright.

I just got a new phone and her number did not transfer to it when I activated it, so I hadn’t been able to text her whenever I thought of her (she no longer has her Facebook so texting is the only way of communication we have if we aren’t in person). I knew I didn’t have to worry about that though because I knew it wouldn’t take long before she texted me again to see how I was doing. It’s been about a week or two since I got the new phone, and this morning, is when I discovered we are more than just best friends. We are soul sisters.

This morning, I had a dream about her. I cannot give you any details of the dream other than I she was in it. Everything else I am drawing a blank on. I remember a lot of white, and maybe a table? And her parents were part of the dream. Well, when I woke up, I got the gut feeling that she would text me today. As my day went on I gradually forgot about the dream… until it actually happened. She texted me. Yes, she actually texted me. It is not the first time that I’ve thought of her and had the feeling that she’d try and text me that day and then she has. We’ve discussed how freaky it is and how connected we have to be for this to keep happening. And it has happened almost every time she’s texted me for almost a year now.

We are so alike it isn’t funny. I couldn’t ask for a better friend. She is my best friend. She understands me on a level that no one else could. She’s helped me so much through so many things and she is so patient with my feelings and opening up about things. I can’t explain the premonitious (I don’t care if that’s not a word, I just made it one) feelings that we have that tell us when the other is wanting to talk… but I find it to be one of the coolest things and I am thrilled to share it with such an amazing person.


Here’s My Title


I make strong attachments to people. Some of them I have never met before, but talking to them still brings me joy and I wouldn’t want to lose contact with them. Well, I just had a great scare where I thought I would never be able to talk to one of them again because the account I use to talk to a group of them decided to fuck up.

It had been a while since I talked to them, but I still checked in on the conversation every now and again to see how things were going. I eventually had to update the app in order to continue talking to them, and after a few months of being busy and procrastination, I made enough space in my phone to update the app and talk to them again. Well, a couple days after that, something in my account “changed”. I’m not sure what changed, or how, or why… but it prevented me from talking to them and I couldn’t remember my password to log back in. I was instantly rushed with panic with the fear of never being able to talk to any of them again, mainly one that I grew very fond of and could talk to about anything. I had tried clearing the data from the app and opening it back up (which would normally automatically log me back in) but it wasn’t that simple. I needed to know my password to get back in.

I tried every password that made sense for it to be. I tried variations of the same password. After several attempts, I was able to get back in (using a password I could have sworn I tried typing in days before). I’m not too sure what it is about them, that makes me want to continue talking to them, even though I have never met them in person and we all live in different states… but like I said before… I make strong attachments to people. And if I happen to develop an attachment to you, you are very special to me and I don’t want to lose you from my life.

Shower Thoughts part 1


Although I didn’t think of this until after I got out of the shower, I was still drying off and hadn’t gotten dressed yet… so I’m counting it. I have reasoned this as part 1 with the assumption that I will post other “shower thoughts” as they come up in the future. 

So, I wonder if you can still be friends with someone after using pepper spray on them. No, I don’t mean like when you and a group of friends are playing around and everyone wants to take a go at getting sprayed. I mean legitimately using mace against one of your friends for a reason other than fun and experimenting. 

Why did this thought pop into my head? I own a small thing of pepper spray for safety reasons. I occasionally walk through the apartment complex areas that I live at especially when going to my uncle’s apartment (yes, he and I live at the same apartments. It’s totally awesome and only a two minute walk to get to his apartment from mine. I adore the convenience) and, although he always walks me back to my apartment because it is always dark when I leave, I walk to him alone.

So my thought was, what if you’re hanging out with one of your friends, just you and them, making jokes, having fun, and then all of a sudden they try to kiss you. When I say kiss, I mean full on they weren’t stopping, they’re determined to kiss you… and you can’t get them to stop, so you whip out your trusty pepper spray and blast them in the eyes. Of course, after they are able to see again they probably won’t want to stick around and will probably just leave. 

But what if you genuinely like this person as a friend, and even though this mishap has happened, you still enjoy this person’s company. I know, if they were really your friend, they should have known not to pull that stunt and once they knew you were uncomfortable, they should have stopped, but maybe they didn’t realize that. Would you actually be able to still talk to a friend that you have maced in a self-defense situation? Or would the friendship be completely over? I presume said friend would more than likely no longer want to talk after an incident like that, but this is just many of this did things that I think up. No, this isn’t something that has actually happened to me, nor have I actually maced anyone in self-defense or just for fun… although I would like to mace one of my friends to see what happens >:). 

That’s my thought for today, hope you’ve had a wonderful day and continue to have a happy evening!

Unexpected Change in Events


My day was going pretty well. I reconnected with my previous best friend and am now talking to her again, and she and I were supposed to hang out tomorrow with two other of my friends. We were planning on playing Yu-Gi-Oh! (yes, I’m 18 and I still play the enjoyable card game) but now my plans have been cancelled because my friend can no longer go. Yes, I know, it isn’t his fault, and it probably makes me a bad person for getting irritated at the fact, but I am. I’m more irritated at the way he handled the whole situation if anything: trying to tell one of his other friends to take us instead and then insisting on calling me while I’m already in the bathtub reading through blog posts when he could have clearly told me on Facebook, which he was already messaging me on. It would have saved less time and I would have been less annoyed with him. Now instead of eating pizza, playing Yu-Gi-Oh!, and catching up with old friends, I get to do nothing. Plus it will probably be too cold to start my flower garden which I’ve been dying to start working on. Maybe I’ll watch Disney movies with my brother…